


Spemily Oneshots

by TaraTyler



Series: Spemily [3]
Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F, Past Emily/Alison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:12:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6157741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraTyler/pseuds/TaraTyler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A Christmas Drabble</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Without Her

“You know that when everything was bad...I used to fantasize about what my life would be like if I had never met Alison. Before, if I had never realized how different my life would be without her. She used to torture me about my crush on you. I was so angry that I could have killed her for doing that...on top of messing with you. She would make these fantastic statements of adoration for us girls, then treat us like dirt, but it was nothing like the way that she was terrible to you.” Spencer said with the kind of voice that beckons hell on those who hear it. 

Emily found it kind of reassuring despite everything.

“I had never imagined that it was remotely possible for you to feel the same things for me that I felt for you. I had convinced myself that I was okay without you, and that I could be just fine as your friend, but this...this is everything that I could ever have possibly wanted. I love you and you love me, and I’m as happy as I could ever possibly be.” Emily ran her fingers through Spencer’s hair and kissed her forehead gently. Spencer ran her hands up and down Emily’s arms and curled more tightly around her. She had thought much the same thing.

“I do love you. I love you so very much, and I am ecstatic to be with you.”

“I know that now.”


	2. Enough part 2

My lips are on Emily’s and my hands are in her long dark hair, but don’t know why. I have no clue how I got to this place. I mean, up until Emily I had been pretty sure of my heterosexuality. I’m a smart girl, I know that it’s pretty normal to crush on your friends a little, no matter your orientation. This had stopped being a little about the third time that I had thought that we were going to die, I knew for sure that night in the church bell tower.

All I had wanted was to tell Emily how I felt. I even went so far as to call her. My mind didn’t go to Toby or Alex, or even my family. I loved Emily and I loved the other girls. I love my family and Toby, but everyone else seems to pale in comparison.

Still, I knew that what I was doing was probably very wrong. I knew that everyone would try to put my head on a spike once they found out. Emily’s the sweet one, harmless. I’m the hardcore one, I can shut myself down and be totally soulless. I know that better than anyone. 

Still, I would never purposefully hurt Emily. If she ever asked for this to stop, I would shut it down and back off without a word. If she told me to go away and never come back I’d fly to California and make a new, fresh start. What ever she asked, whenever.

Sex with her is like find myself again. Whenever she kisses me, it’s like she must feel the same things that I feel. Emily is confusing, chaotic, and wonderful. She could be described as a drug, even. We all know that I have an addictive personality anyway.

Emily’s fingers trail down my ribcage and her nose brushes my pulse point.

“You wicked, wicked girl.” I murmur with a soft smile as my body tenses up underneath her touch.

“If I weren’t, you wouldn’t keep coming back now would you?” Emily whispers back . Her words sting and I feel bad, but then I turn them back around her.

“It seems like I’m always coming to you, lately.” I can’t help but to catch the way that she has been looking at me as I watch her dress. Emily stands up and pulls on her t-shirt and panties. Her legs are still there for me to eye up and down, hair a mess.

“Are you leaving already?” I ask with concern in my voice. “You’re starting make me feel like we’re Aria and Mr.Fitz.”

I knew that we weren’t supposed to talk or cuddle. Wasn’t that one of the main rules of being friends with benefits? I’d seen the movie. I had read all of the books. I’m Spencer Hastings. Of course I have done the research.

I did want to talk, though. We’re best friends. We were meant for talking. To be honest, I was also getting a little bit desperate.

“Well, if there was any mood left, you just killed it.” Emily chuckles softly without looking at me, and forces herself to smile. This kicks my protective instincts into overdrive.

“Emily… look at me, are you okay? That was pretty intense and you’re walking away like it was nothing. Are you sure that you’re alright?” I ask, sitting up onto my elbow to get a better look at her. The sheet falls from my front and I see the change in her eyes.

“Oh, you’re new to this Spence, so I’m sure that you’ll learn. It’s okay… even good for a newbie.” Emily emphasizes the last word. I can feel my face get all scrunchie the way it does when I get confused.

“What do you mean?” I ask. I don’t get it. Emily smirks in her sexy way that I only get to see when we’re alone. I love that face. I love her face.

“Well to put this in terms that you’ll understand… that was pretty average. A C… if not a C+, but only if I’m grading on a curve.” Emily says in her most sultry of voices. She sits down beside of me on the bed and her sleeve falls down her arm, revealing some shoulder. All of a sudden I feel ready to go again.

“Bullshit.” I argue. I”m a Hastings and Hastings don’t get C’s. We aren’t average, ever.” Not in school, not in life, and definitely not in sex.

Emily shrugs noncommittally and I can feel my pride clawing for an A in my chest.

“I guess that you’ll just have to study some more.” Emily winks and I dry swallow. She puts the rest of her clothes on and let’s herself out, leaving me to my frustration.

I pull out my laptop for some more research on the subject. My mom comes upstairs after saying goodbye to Emily to check on me.

“What’re you doing, Spencer?” she asks through the door while I dress. I give her my standard answer and wince when I hear myself. “Studying.” It gets worse when my mom replies.

“That’s what Emily said you would probably be doing. I’m proud of you, honey.” she says and I smile to myself. She wouldn’t be if she had known what Emily and I had actually been studying… something along the lines of anatomy.

\-----/////-----

My arrangement with Emily had kind of hit us both like a stick. Emily and I had gotten into our ‘fight’ whilst doing community service. He/She/It had beaten the snot out of Emily, but she really didn’t seem to give a crap because she had gotten that damn phone. I care and I cared a lot because her life was so much more important to me than catching ‘A’. We were all freaking out in our own way. I had shut myself down and gone totally into leadership mode. The girls needed someone with a level head to call the shots. I was that someone for them. I refused to look at Emily for fear of a breakdown.

Caleb came and went, taking Hanna away with him. Aria had her own nonsense to deal with like usual. Girl needs help, I swear. Emily stayed with me, she’s definitely not going to leave my sight.

“You should go shower?” I ask, distracted by my thoughts. Everything in my insides is in turmoil and I need her somewhere safe until I can regain my equilibrium.

“Yeah, I feel disgusting. Inside and out.” Emily groans and i allow myself to catalogue her injuries.

“You could never be disgusting, Em. You’re too good of a person.” I almost let myself smile, but I don’t want to give too much away.

I can’t be another Alison to her, I won’t let myself, and I love her too much for that. I won’t risk my confusion hurting her. I want to wait until I know more for myself. These are the boundaries that I had established within myself long ago. Still, with her looking at me like that the boundaries are beginning to fade. Her eyes say “Spence, I need you.” and I shut myself down again. I can’t deal with this right now. I turn back to my computer.

“Thanks, Spence… for everything.” She says almost in a whisper and tears spring to her eyes. She starts up the staircase and I swear that i can hear something inside of me crack.

“I’m still pissed with you.” I add to my previous statement. I’m clinging to my cold state and losing. My own hurt and fear and even love are seeping back into my body. I stand from my computer, deciding to leave those files for another day.

“I know.” Emily replies and I follow her up the stairs. I lean against the bathroom door as she undresses.

“You scared the hell out of me.” I add because I don’t think that she is getting the depth to my words.

“I know and I’m sorry.” she says with a broken sigh. It’s then that the feeling returns, ever nerve and sense rushing to high alert with a thump.

The thump was Emily’s back against the wall.

“Spence...I…” she starts but my lips against hers cut off the sound. I go into sensory overload. She’s soft and warm, who knew that skin could be so smooth?

Emily’s eyes snap open and she starts an almost imperceptible retreat. She probably wasn’t even aware of it...but I was.

“Emily… I-I’m sorry.” I apologize, and let her go, backing away in horror of my own actions. I can’t believe anything myself. Emily’s eyes soften when she recognizes the look.

“Don’t be.” she replies, touching her bottom lip with her index finger in what almost looks like confusion. “We’ve had a rough day.”

Yeah, right, like that’s an excuse. I feel the blood rush to my face and I begin a hasty backwards retreat.

“Wait, Spence. Everything is okay and we’re all right. We’ve had an emotional and stressful day. I’m not angry. I’m kind of surprised and sore, but not angry.” Emily kisses my very pink cheek. “I still love you. We can talk about this later.”

Inner Spencer isn’t okay with this. Inner Spencer says let’s do this now. and catches Emily’s face in her hands, promptly kissing her like she meant it. Both Spencers mean it.

Emily kissed me back. Nothing else in the world matters because Emily Fields is kissing me back. I’m supposed to protect Emily and I have not been doing a very good job. ‘A’ got her today because I lost my focus. I mean to make up for it in spades.

Now, I was aware of every second. I’m still so pissed that she has put herself in this kind of danger and it comes out in hair pulling and biting. Who knew that kissing was such a good way to communicate feelings. Apparently whatever is i that I’m doing is working for Emily. Her breathing gets ragged and heavy. Her pupils are blown.

“We should stop.” says Outer Spencer, while I look into Emily’s eyes for some sign of what she’s feeling.

“Not if you don’t want to.” Emily replies, her voice deep and husky. She makes her point clear by working the buttons of my shirt, and kissing me me urgently.

“Why would I ever want to stop.” I ask and back her into the shower with me fully clothed. Emily peels the wet clothing off of me. I’m in my bra and a pair of particularly expensive panties when I take a knee on the the tiles, yanking the towel off of her in one smooth movement before my tongue ends up where she wants it.

\-----/////-----

The next morning we woke up together in my bed with hazy minds and blurry eyes. Emily didn’t seem to want to mention it, so I didn’t either.I didn’t want to scare her away by offering an unwanted explanation. I was honestly terrified. I checked over the injuries that I had treated tonight before using every modicum of my self-restraint.

The next time was at school maybe two days later. Emily had kept looking at me like she was scared. She would regularly cast me these furtive glances when the others would look away. I’m not sure of why but it really seemed to be getting to me. I was aggravated about being stuck in this halfway place. I wanted more out of this relationship but I was too scared to ask in case of Emily shooting me down.

I followed her into the bathroom and after these two days of torture with absolutely no touching, I wanted to talk this out, rationally. I’m Spencer Hastings, I’m rational. I also needed reassurance that I wasn’t losing my mind, that the other night after the greenhouse actually happened to know that I wasn’t dreaming.

I never got around to the talking. I followed her in and at the first brush of our skin against each other, all of my barriers fell. Any trace of doubt that I held I could see mirrored in Emily’s own. I still wanted to talk, but this seemed so much more important. Maybe Emily realized that I needed her today, because things went out of order and I had the best orgasm of my entire life thus far. Emily smiled like she was proud of herself.

I wanted to cry. I’m not someone who cries after sex, ever, (I’m a Hastings), so I just hid my face in her shoulder. I’m out of breath and shattered to pieces. Emily seems worried for me and starts to say something but I hush her gently.

“Just hold me.” I said and didn’t recognize my own voice. She wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed my hair, dong as I had asked.

“You could talk to me if you wanted to. I’m a very good listener you know. This all okay, and we can keep it up, if you want to, but if you ever want to talk…” Emily offers. I don’t often discuss how I feel. I’m a Hastings and I feel like this is a part of that. I keep it all inside.

Maybe I’m a grenade like Hazel Grace. I’m a ticking time bomb on the edge of exploding into nothing. I’m an unknown variable, an atom to be smashed. If I were to teeter off of the precipice, I doubt in my ability to climb back up. Maybe if Emily were there waiting on me, maybe then I could do it.

\-----//////-----

I wanted to talk to Emily about my minor breakdown, so I caught her out on the steps of Rosewood High as she was leaving. However, Aria and Hanna were right behind me so I whispered to her that she was spending the weekend with me, because if it’s an order, and I say in my sexiest voice, maybe she’ll comply.

I rush home to get ready. I’m not even quite clear yet on what I’m doing, but I shower, shave, change and pack some bags anyway. I latch onto every thought that whips by and decide to make it happen. Why not take her to the lake house? Why not bring her the super skimpy bikini and pray that she actually wears it.

I watch from my upstairs window for her to get there. I see her pull into the driveway, and she waves. It takes me by surprise that she knows that I’m there, but I wave back anyway. I race down the stairs and meet her at the door, shutting and locking it before she has the chance to say ‘no’.

“Are we taking your car or mine?” I ask.

“I guess that it doesn’t matter.” she replies anxiously. “May I ask where we’re going?”

“I’m kidnapping you.” I reply playfully to disguise my own nerves. “Kidnapping doesn’t work when the hostage is aware of the destination.”

“So, we’re going to the lake house. Don’t you hate it when I can read your mind?” Emily teases me like I didn’t know that she would guess it. The four (Formerly five) of us started escaping there as soon as we could drive. Emily is almost flirting with me. That’s definitely a good sign. We’ve never actually flirted with one another before.

“I don’t know… it’s always worked out for me in the past.” I smirk and shrug because I am Spencer Hastings, ever cool and ever confident. We are definitely flirting.

“Me too.” Emily gives me that sexy wicked smile and I get so distracted that I almost lose control of the car.

“You can’t do that while I’m driving, we’ll wreck.” I say and I can’t help the smile that crosses my face.

Emily leans her seat back with a heavy, her arms behind er head. I can feel soulful brown eyes on me and I practice some of my hard-won Hastings restraint. She’s thinking hard about something so I speak up with a fourth of an explanation.

“I thought that it would be nice to get away for a while. ‘A’ , the prying eyes, and the school stress has been eating away at me for so long… it’s been nice to have something in my life that’s simple and honest. Em, you’ve always been the one thing that I can reply on. You’re steadfast and true, and there for me when I need you, thank you.. It means the world to me.” I speak my heart with one hand on her knee. this was probably the most I had opened up in… ever.

“I’ll alway be here for you, Spence. No matter what.” Emily replies.

Who knew that such simple sentences could have so many layers. While I’m thinking my deep and convoluted thoughts, Emily falls asleep. I do my best to avoid staring and let her sleep until we get there. I leave her in the car and carry bags in to let her get more rest. I return and try to memorize her features before waking her as gently as possible.

“Emily… Em, we’re here.” I shake her gently.

“Oh, it’s the lake house. I’m so surprised.” She snarks. Maybe I should’ve borrowed the plane and really surprised her? No, too many questions. I stick my tongue out and she smiles the world’s cutest sleepy smile, before following me inside.

Emily lays herself out across Nana’s couch and closes her eyes like she’s about to fall asleep again.

“No mas, Em. We’ve got stuff to do.” I smack her leg and she jumps up.

“When did you get so violent?” she asks, and I laugh softly.

“I play field hockey.” i reach into the nearest bag for swimsuits. “Black for you and blue for me.” those are the colors that I like us best in. I threw hers to her and she looks at me skeptically.

“I’m starting to think that black might be for you, too.” she grumbles and I blush. While it was intended for me, it’ll look much better on her. Much. Better. I do have a tendency to stare.

I turn to change and immediately regret the action. None of us have ever felt the need to do that before. I can feel her eyes on me, and I take it as permission to peek as well.

“Tie this back for me?” She asks and I move to her, already in mine.

“Of course.” I answer and marvel in the electricity of every movement.I struggle to keep my breathing over. Her skin is so smooth. I run my hands across the tops of her shoulder and down her biceps. I interlock our fingers, enjoying the closeness.

I kiss her neck softly, gently, where the trapezius muscle ends at her throat I kiss her again on her carotid artery, feeling her pulse underneath my lips. I rest my nose there, enjoying her ragged breaths. I can tell that she feels everything and is expecting for more. I nip her earlobe softly, gently, but never give her exactly what she wants.

“Race you.” I whisper, and grab my towel while my words sink in. I drop my towel at the end of the dock and wait.

It took a couple of seconds until it clicked with Emily exactly what I had done. Teasing her had become one of my new favorite pass times.

“No fair!” Emily yelled, grabbed her own towel and, and gave chase. I waited for her at the end of the dock for her and looked for her to stop. Instead, I barely had the chance to catch a breath before I was shoved in.

I spluttered back up into the air, gasping, to see Emily’s smirk. It isn’t a second before her lips are on mine again, stealing my breath away. Who needs air when you have Emily Fields? Everything on Earth is perfect for a whole twenty seconds. Then I opened my eyes.

I don’t remember why, I just remember hearing someone screaming and fear gripping my heart inside of my chest. I should have known that it was too good to last. I was too happy. Everything was too peaceful, Now, there was a bloody dead dude underneath mydock.

It takes a good minute to realize that I am the one who’s screaming. Emily bumped into the body and the fact that she is covered in blood is really messing with my head. She is doing her best to get me out of the water. My mental state really isn’t stable enough for this.

“Get out of the water, Spence. We’re calling the cops.” Emily orders and drags me out of the lake. She seems more concerned about me than the dead man. Maybe he’s past worrying about. A better place and all of that.

 

\-----/////-----

I do most of the talking and tell the police the same thing that we told the other two girls. We got away to study and relax while Hanna and Aria settled some personal issues. We took a short swim break and freaked out when we saw the dead guy. No, I didn’t recognize him. I didn’t know if Spencer did, she was too scared and probably in shock, see her blanket?

 

“I texted Hanna and Aria, they’re on their way.” I tell Spencer after I’ve garnered permission for the two of us to go and change.

“Will we ever be able to get away from this?” she asks, a helpless look in her eyes.

“We’ll find A, once you’ve set your mind on something, Spence, escape is impossible. You’re Spencer Hastings, an actual genius and the best person I know.” I do my best to reassure her. She’s standing there looking so helpless and frustrated that I can’t help but to hug her close. She fits perfectly against me but I ignore that while she cries into my top.

The harder that she cries the more tightly I pulled her into me. Spencer had yet to finish dressing so we probably made a very pretty picture. Me (smeared with blood, and dark hair everywhere in a skimpy bikini that left nothing to the imagination) holding spencer ( also in bikini bottoms, bra, and t-shirt) sobbing. I kissed her hair and whispered encouragements and ‘I love you’s’ low enough that she knew that I was saying something, just not exactly what I was saying. I stood and repeated the chant for as long as I needed to until she calmed down and her breathing evened out.

Spencer steps away and takes a deep, hopefully steadying breath. She stands up on her tiptoes and kisses me softly.

“Thank you. Really, you should be the one getting to freak out. You actually touched the thing and you’ve still got blood on you, too.” Spencer starts to fuss over me.

“Sweetheart, I’m fine. This one is all you.” I reassure her and hug her again, this time with a short squeeze that Spencer responds to by tucking her head underneath my chin. Her breathing is even now and her heart-rate back to normal. I take reassurance in this as well and kiss her lips, gently, softly, an unspoken ‘I love you’

I don’t know if she feels that as well, but she smiles with a sparkly eye back at me. That’s good enough for now. For however long I can get this to last.

I hear twin yells of our names and the sounds of leaving policemen being knocked out of the way of our persistent, determined friends.

“You should probably clean up before the girls decide that you are dying...again.” Spencer advises. “You just had to text them didn’t you?”

“It would be suspicious if I didn’t, you know that. You trained us, remember?” I ask, taking the towel to the worst of the blood just as Hanna crashes into the room.

“Oh, my God, Em. Are you okay? That’s blood…” Hanna rushes to me as Aria goes to Spencer who is exhibiting the telltale signs of having been crying.

“Tell us everything. Why are you here? I thought that you were studying at Spencer’s house.” Hanna lights into her interrogation tactics as she cleans me up with the towel wrested from my hands.

“Give them a second to breathe.” Aria comes to our defense,an arm around Spencer’s waist.

“We went out for a swim break and I pushed Spence off of the pier. I backed into the body and she started screaming. she wouldn’t stop screaming. I called the police, then I texted you and started to clean her up and calm her down. we were interrogated, then you came crashing in like so many banshees.” I explain in a tone of total and complete exasperation.

“We came here to get away from everything, and her finds us. He always finds us. I’m so done with this. I am so done with all of this.” Spencer finally breaks her dams down and yells. I don’t like her tone though. It scares me.

“Spencer, we’ve talked about this. You’re a Hastings. Not only that, you are the strongest and the smartest of all of the Hastings. You’re better than all of them because you are the good Hastings. Plus, on top of all of that you have us, and we love you and we will defend you to our dying breaths. A has nothing on us. Screw our secrets and screw A. We’re good as long as we are together.” Emily grabs the point of my chin and tilts my head up so I’m looking at her. she holds my hand and I forget that the rest of the world exists.

“Spencer, are you hurt?” Aria asks me. I have absolutely no idea what the crazy girl could be talking about.

“No, why?” I look at my arms, but don’t feel anything wrong.

“You have a bruise... “ she brushes my hair away from my throat, standing on her tiptoes. Oh, God. Now I know what she was talking about. We are so busted.

“Spencer Hastings, who have you been making out with, without telling me?! You know that I survive off of your drama while Caleb is gone! How dare you?!” I should have known that this could honestly hurt Hanna’s feelings. Aria looks suspicious. Then she glares at me and I really just want to run.

“Ms.Hastings? A word, please.” it looks like I’ve just been called to the principal’s office. I follow Aria into the living room, mentally planning what I’m going to say. She sits down on Nana’s couch and I take the love seat across from her.

“Tell me honestly. Are you having sex with Emily?” she asks, and I sigh heavily. I can answer that one.

“Yes.”

“Do you have feelings for Emily?” that one is easy too.

“Yes.”

“Does she have feelings for you?” That’s the stickler, 

“I don’t know.”

“Have you told her that you have feelings for her?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I wouldn’t be able to bear it if she told me that she did not feel the same way? Wouldn’t be able to take it.” I answer, maybe I should have been talking to Aria about this earlier. She makes it a lot easier to sort out my thoughts.

“Are you gay?” Ouch, yeah, I hadn’t even considered that one yet. It makes my brain hurt.

“Maybe a little bit.”

“We can discuss that later. I just want you to know that if you hurt Emily, I will rip you into teeny tiny shreds. I love you, but I won’t tolerate you breaking her heart. Don’t become Alison. She did so much damage to Emily’s heart and this could end up being worse.”

“You won’t need to, I swear.” I also believe her wholeheartedly. She might be tiny but when she wants, she can be truly terrifying.

“Now, go talk to her. Tell her how you feel. It will all be okay, I promise.” Aria pats my face in a very mom-like manner, pulls me in and hugs me. The girl has always really known how to comfort me and to really make me feel like shit all at once. She drags me into the room and it looks like Emily and Hanna had been having a similar discussion.

“This isn’t something that we should be discussing as a group. Come on, Han. Spencer has some things that she needs to tell Emly before the adults come and ruin everything.” Aria drags a reluctant Hanna away and Emily looks like she’d rather be going with them.

“I’m sorry about our weekend.” Emily says sadly.

“I should have known not to get my hopes up. SOmething always gets in the way. Especially when it comes to me.” I sigh, knowing that there isn’t much I can say.

“So, at least tell me about what you had planned for the weekend, that way I don’t have to wonder about it.” Emily smiles softly and I feel a distinct pang in my chest. I scoot in closer to her and lean on her shoulder.

“I dragged you up here with no plan at all. I know that that doesn’t sound like me at all, I just wanted to spend the time with you. I know that we need to talk, I just thought that it would be easier to up here and away from the rest of the world. It’s so peaceful that it feels as though nothing could ever go wrong.” I sit on my hands to prevent fidgeting. I bite my lower lip, worrying it between my teeth.

“This place is so gorgeous… you’re right. Even with your Nana’s hideous couch.” She’s teasing me and I give in, gently smacking her stomach with the back of my hand.

“You’re so abusive.” Emily chuckles. “Now, go ahead and tell me whatever it is that you wanted to tell me so badly that you dragged me out of Rosewood. Believe me when I say that I will still love you, no matter what it is.” She runs a few fingers through my still wet hair.

I sit up straight, calling upon the strength of every Hastings who had ever come before me. This may possibly be the most nerve-wrecking thing that I have ever done.

“Aria, when I was talking to her, compared me to Alison. She said that I could hurt you even more than she had. I hate to think that in doing whatever it is that we have been doing, I could have hurt you. I would never… not for one single second was that my intention. I love you more than that.” I catch the words just as they came out of my mouth. “I do know… love you that is. I brought you here because I wanted to tell you that I wanted to end it…” I look away, unable to stomach the depths of the emotions in Emily’s eyes.

I look back because I want to be able to gauge her reactions.

“I don’t want to just have sex with you anymore because, while I adore have sex with you, I’m not okay with that being all that our relationship is. I want to date you,,, publically. I want to come to your door with flowers and take you out to the Grille. I want to Hanna to make jokes about my having the heart eyes and for Aria to blush whenever we have PDA. I want to court you, but if you aren’t okay with that, I will step back and we can go back to how things were before we kissed the first time. No problems.”

Emily is looking at me with a completely unreadable expression. I have no idea of what she could possibly be thinking and it is driving me nuts. I could actually explode.

“Don’t you ever step back from me, okay? You aren’t anything at all like Alison DiLaurentis was.” Emily says incredibly forcefully and I sit back, stunned. Then, she’s kissing me and she’s telling me that she loves me too, everytime that she pulls back to search my eyes. I think again about how little air I require. Then, she’s slowing to a stop so I chase her. 

“We should probably go tell the girls that you have yet to crush my soul.” She whispers.

“Yeah, we can finish this up at my house.” There is no way that I am going to have gone through all of this shit today and not end up getting laid.

“We aren’t going to be allowed to have sleepovers anymore.” Emily says with a thoughtful frown.

“Telling the girls does not equal telling the parents.” I pout.

“You are insatiable. I had never thought of you like this before.” She laughs and takes my hand as we prepare to go face the beasts. I consider the statement before replying.

“I have been described as tense and high strung. All of that pent up...stuff, has to go somewhere. I was lucky enough to find you to be the perfect outlet. For me, you ended up beign the perfect everything.” Emily stops to kiss me again. I don’t mind the interruption.

“And you’re a through and through romantic. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” She kiss me again and we step out onto the porch where the girls lie in wait. SInce I’ve been on such a roll with all of these grand declarations, I take the lead.

“Hanna, Aria,... we have come to the conclusion that the best thing for us to do, is to court properly.” I announce.

“In English, what does that mean?” Hanna asks.

“Spencer is saying that we have feelings for one another and have decided to date and see where it takes us.” Emily explains and I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face.

“I’m happy just so long as the two of you are happy. Still, I have more questions and I expect you to give me the answers tomorrow. Tonight, you can celebrate with whatever it is that the two of you do.” Aria says with a happy smile and an approving glance towards me.

“I wanted my answers now, but whatever. I’m happy for you and Aria, if you really don’t know what is that they do, I would be happy to show you.” Hanna adds. 

“Shut up Hanna, and come on. These two are going to need their privacy.” Aria drags the reluctant blonde away.

\-----/////-----

“I’m glad that they were so understanding.” Emily says in a voice that plainly announces that she is on cloud nine.

“Understanding? Aria looked like she wanted to skin me alive. She might be tiny but she can be terrifying when she wants to be.” I scoff.

“That’s just because she thought that you were going to lead me on and hurt me. I’m sure that she is just fine now.” Emily pats my leg comfortingly as I drive.

“What a completely ridiculous notion.” I pout. Em loves my pout.

“I’m looking forward to our first date. Do you want to plan it or shall I?” I ask.

“I’ll plan it. I owe you for the lake house...amongst other things. Let me make it up to you.” Emily insists, exorbitantly exciting me. My heart beats almost out of my chest. We pull into my driveway and I park, turning to meet Emily’s eyes.

“You don’t even owe me you.” I say in a lower husky voice before she leans across the car and catches my lips in her own. Her fingers tug lightly at my hair and I am so reluctant to pull away and actually get out of the car that she almost has to drag me out of my room.


	3. Enough Part 1

Spencer’s lips are on mine, her hands are in my hair, and our bodies are pressed so tightly together that I don’t know where she stops and I begin. I’ve dissolved into her and completely lost myself. We’ve known one another for so long, have learned the other so completely that I have a map of her in my mind. She is completely committed to memory. My hands already know when they have passed over a freckle and my lips know right where to go to find the sensitive place at the nape of her neck. We have been doing this for so long now, Spencer and I, that it’s amazing that we haven’t been caught yet.

Spencer’s fingers massage at that base part of the nape of my neck, meanwhile my own pull the wetness of her panties down her long - long legs. In reply she gently bites one of my earlobes before kissing me again. When I move to do something about the bits of her that I have uncovered, she grabs my face and turns me back to her. “No, stay here and look at me. Be here with me.”

“I can do that.” I reply, and pull Spencer to me with our lips. I want her closer, always I want her closer so without moving from my place of staring into her hazel eyes, I reach one arm down, trailing my splayed fingers across her breasts, down her abs, and into the folds of her outer labia. My other hand tangles in her humid hair. Her body arcs up against mine, I bite my lower lip as she squeezes her eyes closed. I kiss her again because it feels like the thing to do when her fingernails run down my back.

Spencer feels desperate underneath me, her heartbeat jumping like a rabbits’ with every soft stroke or touch. If this act here and now is all that I am ever able to get out of her, it is what I will take and I will make it great. I know Spencer now, after weeks of this, intimately. I know what she likes and I know how she likes it. I know how and where to bite and suck. I know about that sensitive place on her jawline that makes her crazy. Even with the vast majority of my own secrets saved up, I can still play Spencer’s body like my own instrument.

“You wicked, wicked girl.” our fearless leader says as she falls onto the bed with a smile on her face and purple stains across her body. It’s amazing that for somebody as intelligent as her, she completely misses what this is doing to me.

“If I weren’t, you wouldn’t keep coming back, now would you?” I ask, knowing that Spencer was a little bit too wrapped up in the high of the endorphins in her bloodstream, and in herself to notice the ire behind my words.

“It seems like I’m always coming to you lately.” Spencer replies as expected.

I try not see just how beautiful she is lying there post-coitus, covered only by the sheet with her dark hair splayed out stark against the white pillows. It won’t help me to turn Spencer into another Alison. I won’t allow myself to get hurt like that again. I stand up and pull on my shirt without looking at her. It’s the eyes that get me, I look into Spencer’s eyes and I catch myself being ready to do things that I had sworn to myself and to God that I would never do. It’s not like with Maya, a constant temptation to sin, it’s more like the need to please her and gain her favor. Alison, hello again, though I know that Spencer would be the first to deny it.

“Are you ready to leave already? You’re starting to make me feel like we’re Aria and Mr.Fitz.” Spencer says teasingly, but I can hear the concern in her voice. It sounds like she actually wants to talk now, but that was one of the first of many unspoken rules of our arrangement, no talking. In fact, that was the first and only thing that Spencer had said after a month of cryptic hints from my best friend and hellish A texts.

“Well, if there was any mood left, then that just killed it.” I chuckle, and force a smile. I refuse to let her know just how much this is killing me. If she knows then she’ll stop it, and I need this just as much as she does.

“Emily...look at me, are you okay? That was pretty intense and you’re walking away like it was nothing. Are you sure that you are alright?” Spencer asks.

Now that sounds more like my old Spencer, so I turn on a flirty face and play her game.

“Oh, you’re new to this, I’m sure that you’ll learn, Spence. It’s okay, you’re even good for a newbie.” I emphasize the last word and try not to laugh at the look on her face.

“What do you mean?” she asks like she isn’t getting it. I’ve made her feel like she’s missing something, a piece of the puzzle that she doesn’t have it.

“In terms that you’ll understand… that was average. A ‘C’ if not a ‘C+’... but, only if it were graded on a curve.” I smirk and sit down on the bed, one of sleeves starts sliding down a bit to show more shoulder.

“Bullshit.” Spencer refutes.

I shrug noncommittally, knowing that she’ll go nuts with a less than perfect grade.

“I guess that you’ll just need to study more.” I wink, get dressed the rest of the way and allow her to take from that what she will.

“See you later, Mrs.Hastings.” I tell Spencer’s mother as I leave.

“What was she doing up there when you left?” the rather terrifying woman woman asked.

“Probably studying.” I say and leave while laughing quietly at my own joke.

\-----/////-----

My arrangement with Spencer had come about rather suddenly. Everyone was mad at me, or pretending to be to fool A, anyway. He/She/It, had kind of beaten the shit out of me, but I didn’t really care because I had gotten the phone. The phone was worth an ulcer, bruises, and cuts. The others did not agree.

Aria was threatening tears over my wild and bloodied state. Hanna was livid, like completely off the reservation levels of angry. Spencer was...cold, though. I didn’t really get it. She was completely shut down, wouldn’t even look at me.

Caleb came and went, taking Hanna with him. Aria had her own stuff deal with. Really, the girl deserves her own TV show. I stayed with Spencer. No one wanted to see me do anything crazy if left alone. What qualifies as crazy anymore?

“You should go shower?” Spencer suggested it warily, it was more of a question than anything else.

There was something under the surface there and I was scared to push for it. Especially when Spencer had that ice in her eyes that made her look like more of a Hastings than she already was.

“Yeah, I feel disgusting. Inside and out.” I had groaned, thinking that I wouldn’t be able to deal with this side of Spencer right now. Right now, I needed my friend. I needed the kind and understanding, no judgement Spencer right now.

“You couldn’t ever be disgusting, Em. You’re too good of a person.” Spencer almost smiles before turning back to her computer.

“Thank you, Spence… for everything.” I remember saying as tears came to my eyes and I rushed to the bathroom to shower away my hurt.

“I’m still pissed with you.” Spencer said, and the ice creeped back into her voice.

“I know.” I replied and Spencer followed me upstairs. I enter the bathroom and start to undress.

“You scared the hell out of me.” she adds like there was something that I just wasn’t getting.

“I know and I’m sorry.” it happened quickly, but I saw the change in Spencer’s hazel eyes before it happened, and she closed the door before pushing me against the wall.

“Spence… I … “ she shut up with her lips on mine. It was so sudden and so unexpected that I just threw up my arms and stared.

“Emily… I’m sorry.” Spencer apologized, looking scared of herself.

“Don’t be.” I reply, touching my lips softly. “We’ve had a rough day.”

Spencer’s face goes red and she backs out of the room.

“Wait, Spence. Everything is okay, and we’re all right. We’ve had an emotional and stressful day. I’m not angry. I’m sort of surprised and sore, but not angry.” on an impulse I lean forward and kissed her cheek. “I still love you and we can talk about this later.”

Spencer caught my face again and kissed me like she meant it. This time I was somewhat ready and I replied in kind, surprising myself. Spencer and I had always been more aware of one another than the others. We balanced one another out, she was the head of the group while I was more of the moral compass.

She was my protector and I was her comforter. I knew that she was beautiful and it had touched me to be able to see her grow into the beautiful woman that she is now… I had just never wanted to fall for another Alison DiLaurentis. Now, I was spiralling into this kiss and losing my sense of being in it. I could feel her anger, anxiety, and fear in her mouth and in her hair. She yanked at my loose tendrils carefully but harshly and pushed me up against the wall. I let her.

I had never known that Spencer could have this in her. However, it was kind of a turn on as well. She had an intense look in her eyes like I had never seen before.

“We should stop.” she said, her eyes searching mine for something.

“Not if you don’t want to.” I heard myself say. This was something that I never wanted to stop. I enunciate my point by unbuttoning the bottom button of Spencer’s shirt and kissing her softly.

“Why would I ever wait to?” Spencer asks, and backs me into the shower water while I carefully peel her clothes off of her.

I am very aware that I should not be doing what I am doing. Having sex with your best friend, with whom you have also just been fighting is never okay. It definitely never ends well. Someone always falls, and someone always gets hurt. I didn’t care in that moment, I just wanted the rush of her skin against mine and the sounds of her groaning in my ear.

We tumbled out of the shower, giggling on a high of exhaustion, relief, and most importantly one another. My wounds sting in the air and Spencer gets serious just a little bit to treat them. Her fingers are nimble with bandages and antibiotic creams that relieve my hurt not nearly as well as her tongue on mine had. I can almost see steam rise off of our skin when it touches. I never would have seen it coming.

She looks up at me from where she was checking...or supposed to be checking on my sprained ankle. Spencer is just so cute and so sweet that I lean down and kiss her again. I couldn’t help myself.

\-----/////-----

The next morning we rolled out of Spencer’s bed with blurry eyes and hazy minds. I didn’t quite know what to say, so I allowed spence to take the lead and she simply pretended that nothing happened. I played along, just in case she wanted to talk later or something. That never happened.

The next time was at school, maybe two days later. SPencer followed me into a bathroom, and after two days of relative normalcy I was hoping for a talk. I had almost convinced myself that The Shower Incident was a dream. I needed reassurance that I wasn’t going crazy and imaging the way that Spencer was looking at me. Her lingering touches and the looks that she didn’t think that I was noticing were driving me crazy.

When she followed me, I had decided to settle it once and for all. Instead, she kissed me in a stall until my knees went weak and my mind went blank. I don’t think that she even noticed that girls were coming in and out. Spencer’s eyes had that look again and her skin burned under my hands. Don’t get me wrong, I still wanted to talk, this just seemed much more important.

I got Spencer off in record timing. SHe was just so ready and willing that her entire body just shattered into bits at my touch. After, she tilted her head into my shoulder and leaned into me. Spencer was hiding her face and maybe crying. I wanted to say something, anything, to make it better, but she shushed me and told me to hold her, so I did. I wrapped my arms around her waist and bent my head against hers.

“You could talk to me if you wanted to I’m a very good listener you know. THis is all okay, and we can keep it up, if you want to, but if you ever want to talk…” I offer. I’m almost positive that she won’t take me up on it. It’s Spencer, and Spencer doesn’t talk about her feelings, she keeps them all bound up inside until they explode. Was this the explosion?

\------/////-----

“My place tonight, tell Ms.Marin that you’re spending the weekend with me.” Spencer whispers into her ear with no explanation before heading off to her car.

I stop where she had spoken to me on the steps of the school and feel the blood rush to my face and to my extremities, my breath caught.

“You okay, Em? What was that about? Was it A?” Aria and Hanna ask when they see me.

“Yeah, Spencer just wanted me to spend the weekend with her or something. No big. A has been oddly quiet.” I spout out with some major word vomit. It is odd that A has made no mention of my illicit relationship with Spencer.

“Right… well, okay. Just tell her that she can’t have you all to herself forever. WE need time with you, too.” Hanna says with a suspicious twinkle in her eyes. I excuse myself to go freak out alone in my car, but I can still hear them.

“What are you thinking, Han?” Aria asks.

“They aren’t telling us something.” Hanna mutters to herself.

“About A, you think?” Aria asks with worry in her voice.

“No, it’s something else, but maybe important.” Hanna thinks aloud. “I don’t know…”

My knuckles are white around my steering wheel and I breathe heavily. I”m kind of terrified of what Spencer might want to talk about… or that no talking at all might happen. Emily was just truly freaked out. Falling in love just truly sucked, especially when you were unsure of where the other stood in her feelings towards you. I don’t even mind it that Spencer is killing me. I don’t mind that it’s almost unbearable, because it’s Spencer. If it’s Spencer, I can take anything. For her? Anything.

I pull into Spencer’s driveway after an unnaturally long outfit selection process, a long drawn out shower, and...maintenance. I stepped out of the car and looked up to Spencer’s bedroom window. I could feel her up there watching for me. My hand waves softly in greeting. I sling my weekend bag over my shoulder and walk to the door.

“Are we taking your car or mine?” Spencer asks with a wry grin as she steps out of the house with her own bag over her shoulder, checking that the door is locked behind her.

“Doesn’t matter.” I answer nervously. “May I ask where we’re going?”

“I’m kidnapping you. Kidnapping doesn’t work when the hostage knows the destination.”

“So, we’re going to the lake house. Don’t you hate it when I can read your mind” I tease, distinctly aware of the almost flirting that was happening. Spencer and i had never flirted before.

“I don’t know, it’s always worked out for me in the past.” Spencer smirks with a shrug.

This was definitely flirting at this point. I was somewhat excited and nervous about it, this was something new and I’ve never been good at new.

“Me too.” I give her my ‘wicked’ smile and quirk an eyebrow.

“You can’t do that while I’m driving, we’ll wreck.” Spencer scolds me, face decorated with a lopsided grin that only came out on rare occasions.

I sigh and lean my seat back. I don’t know what any of this means and that ache in chest had returned. It was hard to be here with Spencer and to not act as though they had been intimate or be affectionate with her. Maybe that was one of the reasons that she had decided to kidnap me. It certainly was going to make it easier for me to finally corner her and make her talk.

“I thought that it would be nice to get away for a while. A, the prying eyes, and the school stress has been eating away at me for so long… it’s been nice to have something in my life that’s simple and honest. Em, you’ve always been the one thing that I can rely on. You’re steadfast and true and there for me when I need you. Thank you. It means the world to me.” Spencer said softly, one hand on my knee. It was the most open and honest thing that my best friend had said to me in ages. Still, I read a good forty layers beneath her words, trying to figure out what else could mean by them.

“I will always be here for you, Spence. No matter what.” I reply unsure of what else I could say. I close my eyes and enjoy the feel of the sun on my face as Spencer drove, my ears locked onto the sound of her breathing.

“Emily… Em, we’re here.” Spencer shook me gently to get me to get up.

“Oh, it’s the lake house. I’m so surprised.” I mutter, feigning shock just to get on Spencer’s nerves. She sticks her tongue out at me and I smile sleepily. I recline out on her Nana’s couch and get ready to close my eyes again.

“No mas, Em. We’ve got stuff to do.” Spencer smacks my leg gently and I jerk up into a sitting position.

“When did you get to be so violent?” I complain, rubbing the spot.

“I play field hockey.” She says as though it is its own explanation and holds up two very small bikinis.

“Black for you and blue for me.” she throws the tiny triangles of material to me and I hold it up for inspection.

“I’m starting to think that black might be for you too.” I grumble and she blushes. Nail, meet head. Spencer has this thing about staring., she does it constantly, almost like she’s trying to study me, to commit me to memory.

Spencer turns around to change, something that none of us have ever felt the need to do with one another before now. I realize that I’m staring as well and turn back to do the same. This doesn’t stop me from peeking, and a few times I catch Spencer at it as well. How is it that before this, I had never noticed how it seems like her legs go on for miles? I had never seen the graceful slope of her shoulders.

“Tie this back for me?” I ask, unable to quite catch the strings of the top.

“Of course.”   
It was amazing to me just how much the addition of sex had changed every touch and simple action. I felt every brush of her skin against mine, and I could hear her struggle to keep her breathing even. She ran her hands across the tops of my shoulders and down my arms slowly until all of our fingers were locked together. She kissed my neck softly where the bikini tied behind my head and just over the carotid artery where you can see it in my throat. It was the single most sexually charged moment of my life.

Every nerve in my body was singing the praises of Spencer Hastings and her ability to turn me on faster than anything else on God’s green Earth. She nipped my earlobe once teasingly I could feel a slow grin spread across her face. 

“Race you.” She whispered, grabbed a towel before I knew what had happened and ran for the dock.

I chased after her with a shout of “No fair!” and dropped my towel on the warm worn planks where hers was, body checking the smaller girl into the water, laughing the whole time. 

Once we surfaced, and could breathe, our lips met and once again, the rest of the world vanished but for the bare skin on mine. I was enjoying the contrast of our hot skin, burning in the sun and the cool water. It was beautiful and almost perfectly magical until Spencer opened her eyes and started screaming. I jerk away from her just in case and bump into something sticky and wet and cold. My hands come away red from coming away red from contact with the dead man floating face down in Spencer’s parents lake, underneath their dock.

“Get out of the water, Spence. We’re calling the cops.” I tug her by the hand as gently as possible to the lake house and set her down on Nana’s couch. I wrap her in a towel, kiss the top of her head, and dial 911.

\-----/////-----

I do most of the talking. I tell the police what we told the other two girls. We got away to study and chill while Hanna and Aria settled their family problems. We took a swim break and freaked out when we saw a dead guy. No, I didn’t recognize him. I didn’t know if SPencer did, she was too scared and probably in shock.

“I texted Hanna and Aria. They’re on their way.” I tell Spencer after I’ve gotten permission for the two of us to change.

“Will we ever be able to get away from all of this?” she asks as the policemen start to find their way out. Spencer has this helpless look in her eyes that makes me want to fix everything for her.

“We’ll find A, you know that once you’ve set your mind on something, Spence, escape is impossible. You’re Spencer Hastings, an actual genius and the best person I know.” I do my best to reassure her. She’s standing there looking so helpless and frustrated that I can’t help but to hug her close. She fits perfectly against me but I ignore that while she cries into my top.

The harder that she cries the more tightly I pull her into me. Spencer had yet to finish dressing so we probably made a very pretty picture. Me (smeared with blood, and dark hair everywhere in a skimpy black bikini that left little to nothing to the imagination) holding Spencer ( in bikini bottoms, bra, and t-shirt) sobbing. I kissed her hair and whispered encouragements and ‘I love you’s low enough that she knew that I was saying. I stood and repeated the chant for as long as I needed to until she calmed down and her breathing evened out.

Spencer steps away and takes a deep and hopefully steadying breath. She stands up on her tiptoes and kisses me softly.

“Thank you. Really, you should be the one getting to freak out. You actually touched the thing and you’ve still got blood on you, too.” Spencer starts to fuss over me.

“Sweetheart, I’m fine. This one is all on you.” I reassure her and hug her again, this time with a short squeeze that Spencer replies to with a small and short cuddle. She tucks her head under my chin and nestles in. Her breathing is even now and her heartbeat back to normal. I take reassurance in this and kiss her lips, softly, gently, in an unspoken ‘I love you’.

I don’t know if she feels that as well, but she smiles with a teary eye back at me. That’s good enough for now. Whatever I can get from Spencer is enough. For however long I can get this to last.

I hear twin yells of “Spencer!” and “Emily!” and the sound of the last of the policemen being knocked out of the way by our persistent and determined friends.

“You should probably clean up before the girls decide that you’re dying… again.” Spencer advises. “You just had to text them didn’t you?”

“It would have been suspicious if I didn’t, you know that. You’re the genius. You trained us.” I snort, taking the towel to the worst of the blood I’m covered in just as Hanna crashes into the room.

“Oh, my God, Em. Are you okay? That’s blood...and a lot of it.” Hanna rushes to me as Aria goes to Spencer who exhibits the tell-tale signs of crying.

“Tell us everything. Why are you here?! I thought that you were staying at Spencer’s house.” Hanna lights into her interrogation tactics as she cleans me up with the towel wrested from my hands.

“Give them a second to breathe.” Aria comes to my defense, an arm around Spencer’s waist.

“We went out for a swim break and I pushed Spence off of the pier. I backed into the body and she started screaming. She wouldn’t stop screaming. I called the police, then I texted you and started to clean her up and calm her down. We were interrogated, then you came busting in like banshees.” I explain in a tone of total and complete exasperation.

“We come here to get away from everything, and he finds us. He always finds us. I’m so done with this. I am so done with all of this.” Spencer finally breaks her dams down and yells. I don’t like her tone though. It scares me.

“Spencer, we’ve talked about this. You’re a Hastings. Not only that, you are the strongest and the smartest of all of the Hastings, you’re better than them because you’re the good Hastings. Plus, on top of all of that, you have, and we love you, and we will defend you until our dying breaths. A has nothing on us. Screw our secrets and screw A. We’re good as long as we’re together.” I insist tilting her chin to make her look at me and gently holding one of her hands. I completely forgot about the way that this probably looks.

“Spencer, are you hurt?” Aria asks suddenly, breaking whatever trance I had fallen under.

“No, why?” she replies, checking her arms, dazedly.

“You have a bruise…” Aria brushes Spencer’s hair away from her neck and I can feel all of the blood rush to my face and my heart drop into my stomach. We are so incredibly busted. I drop Spencer’s hand like it’s burned me.

“Spencer Hastings… who have you been necking with that I don’t already know about? You know that I survive off of your drama while Caleb is gone! How dare you?!” Hanna honestly looks rather offended. Aria just raises her eyebrows at me as I back away slowly. This doesn’t look good for me. Then she turns a glare onto Spencer and I’m glad that the cops are gone. Though, I might need to call them back soon.

“Ms.Hastings? A word, please.” Aria sounds just like her mother, only scarier, by a lot.

“What am I missing here?” Hanna asks, “Why is Aria mad at Spencer?”

“That hickey on Spence? It’s mine… I put it on her. We’ve been … you know?” I say hesitantly, almost afraid of Hanna’s reaction.

“But she’s straight...Toby…” Hanna looks dumbfounded.

“Evidence suggests otherwise.” I almost smirk proudly, but i know better..

“So you’ve been...intimate.” Hanna now looks horrified.

“Several times.” I answer her with a nod.

“Is that why you guys came here? For more… intimacy?” Hanna asks, looking like she wanted to smile, but was holding back.

“I don’t know why Spencer brought me here. I think we were finally going to talk about things, but then we were interrupted by the dead guy.” I say with a heavy sigh, running a hand through my hair. I’m exhausted, stressed, and frustrated, all I want to do is to hold Spencer for a while until we fall asleep, just to be sure that she’s with me still yet.

I wish that I could talk to the girls and explain myself, or get them to go away so I can go and comfort her. She’s probably feeling like shit.

“So, are you two together-together, or are you just sleeping together?” Hanna asks. “Do you have feelings for her?”

“It’s just sex, though I feel this trip was going to be different. She was being so sweet and kind of romantic even.” I say softly, purposefully feeling ignoring the last part of her question.

“Emily… do you have feelings for Spencer?” Hanna asks again, this time in a much more serious tone.

“Yeah, I do. I’m kind of in love with Spencer Hastings.” I confess just before the door opened and a shamefaced Spence trailed in after an Aria who looked like she had totally just blown her top.

“This isn’t something that we need to be discussing as a group. Come on, Han. Spencer has some things that she needs to tell Emily before the adults find out about this and ruin everything.” Aria hauls Hanna away from me and I give her a look that says ‘Get me out of her- please save me’ But she gave me no sign that she was going to send a rescue my way.

“I’m sorry about our weekend.” I say just to put an end to the awkward silence.

“I should have known not to get my hopes up. Something always gets in the way. Especially when it comes to me.” Spencer sighs and drops her head into her hands.

“So, at least tell me about what you had planned for the weekend, that way I don’t have to wonder about it.” I give her my softest and most reassuring of smiles.

Spencer’s barrier of hesitance broke down and she moved to sit beside of me and leaned into my shoulder.

“I dragged you up here with no plan at all. I know that that doesn’t sound like me at all, I just wanted to have the time with you. I knew that we needed to talk,, I felt like it would be easier up here away from everyone else. It’s so peaceful. It feels like nothing in the world could go wrong, you know?” Spencer sighs, leaning forward and sitting on her hands. She bites her lip in that way that drives me crazy.

“This place is gorgeous… you’re right. Even with your Nana’s hideous couch in the living room.” I tease her, prompting her to smack me in the stomach.

“You’re so abusive.” I laugh. “Now, go ahead and tell me what it was that you wanted to tell me. Believe me when I say that I will still love you, no matter what it is.” I run my fingers through her still damp locks.

In response, Spencer sits up. She looks wary but determined. I don’t know what she wants to tell me that she thinks could scare me off. I don’t know why she thinks that she could. Can’t she tell just by looking into my eyes that she could never possibly lose me? Don’t I communicate well enough, with every kiss, how much I love her?

“Aria… when I was talking to her, compared me to Alison. She said that what we were doing was worse than Ali on my part. She thinks that I’m going to hurt you. I hate to think that in doing this thing I’ve hurt you. I would never… not for one second was that my intention. I love you way too much for that.” Spencer seems to catch the words just as they slip out of her beautiful lips. “I do… you know, love you that is. I brought you here, because I wanted to tell you that I wanted to end it.... “ Spencer finally says, not meeting my eyes.

I prepare myself to come up with a proper response when Spencer continues, and actually looks me in the eyes.

“I don’t want to just have sex with you anymore because, while I truly love having sex with you, I’m not okay with that being all that it is. I want to date you… publically. I want to come to your door with flowers and take you out to the Grille. I want Hanna to make gross jokes about us and for Aria to do that thing where she pretends to have not just caught us making eyes at one another. I want to court you properly, but if you aren’t okay with that, I’ll step back and go back to being your best friend and that’s it. No problems.”

I search her eyes carefully, looking for anything that I could have missed.

“Don’t you ever step back from me… do you understand? You aren’t anything like Alison DiLaurentis ever was.” I tell her but she doesn’t seem to be getting the message, so I kiss her. Every time that we pause for air, I tell her that I love her too, because I always have and I always will. Enough was never enough, and more will always be everything. More, Spencer, more skin, more water. I want more of all of it but we still have to reach a stopping point.

“We should probably go tell the girls that you haven’t crushed my soul. They might be planning to send you to live with the lake guy…” I suggest, out of breath and happy.

“Yeah, we can finish this up at my house.” Spencer nods and I take it that she agrees with my ‘enough is never enough’ sentiment.

“You know, if we tell our parents and Ms.Marin… no more sleepovers.” I think out loud.

“We can tell the girls, but that doesn’t mean that Mrs.M has to know, does it?” Spencer looks saddened.

“You’re a much hornier person than one would think at first glance.” I laugh as I take her hand and kiss her again before taking her to announce ourselves to our best friends.

“I’m tense and all of that unused energy has to go somewhere, you know… you’re the perfect outlet Emily. You’re the perfect everything.” I stop and kiss her again.

“And you’re a romantic. I’ll keep that in mind.” I kiss her again, and we step out onto the porch.

“Hanna, Aria… we have come to the conclusion that the best thing to do for both of us is to court properly.” Spencer says in a way that is just so her that it’s adorable.

“In English, what does that mean?” Hanna asks.

“Spencer is saying that we have the feelings for one another and have decided to date and see where this takes us.” I explain.

“I’m happy just so long as you are both happy. Still, I have more questions and I expect you both to give me all of the details. Tonight you can celebrate with whatever it is that you two do.” Aria says with a smile.

“I wanted my answers now, but whatever. I’m happy for you.” Hanna adds. “I can’t wait for you two to double date with Caleb and I.”

“Come on, Hanna they need their privacy.” Aria drags the blonde away.

“I’m glad that they were so understanding.” I tell Spencer in the car after hours of talking to the cops at the station.

“Understanding? Aria wanted to decapitate me. She might be tiny, but she can be terrifying when she wants to be.” Spencer scoffs.

“That’s just because she thought that you were going to lead me on and hurt me I’m sure that she’s fine now.” my hand comes to rest on Spencer’s thigh as she drives.

“Completely ridiculous notion.” she mutters adorably.

“I’m looking forward to our first date. Do you want to plan it, or shall I?” I ask.

“I’ll plan it. I owe you for the lake house… amongst other things. Let me make it up to you.” Spencer insists as we pull into her house.

“You don’t even owe me you.” I correct her and lean across the car to catch her lips with my own. My fingers tangle into her hair and I enjoy just how much of Spencer I have now.


	4. Chapter 4

“Spencer, why do you insist on distracting me whenever we try to study together? You’re the most dedicated student I know.” Emily protests.

“I am much more dedicated to studying you.” Spencer slides her hands up the sides of Emily’s t-shirt.

“I want to pass this test and I am pretty sure that you do too.” Emily groans, trying not let herself get caught up in Spencer’s cool hands on her warm skin.

“I already know that we’re going to pass. I’m confident.” Spencer’s voice has dropped much lower to that tone that got Emily’s blood hot.

“How about we compromise? For every question that one of us gets right, the other takes off a piece of clothing. By then we should be prepared.” the dark haired girl suggested a smirk, turning in Spencer’s arms to look at her.

“That sounds perfect.” Spencer’s cocky grin shows up, the same one that comes around every time that a game is played at school.

Emily extricates herself from her girlfriend’s arms and they sit across from one another on opposite sides of the bed, textbooks open in their laps.

“Challenger goes first.” Spencer declares. Emily quirks one eyebrow and clears her throat.

“A lender takes back a product when you miss a payment.” Emily asks, starting form the top of the worksheet.

“Repossess. Come on, now. You’re going to go easy on me?” Spencer answers and leaves. “Off with something.”

As casually as possible Emily unties one shoe and tosses it to the side.

“Are we going to play it that way Fields?” Spencer asks wryly. “Okay, what are human arms, bat arms, and primate arms called?”

Emily rolls her eyes, knowing that Spencer is giving her a hard one on purpose.

“Homologous appendages?” she answers.

“Correct.” Spencer agrees, and promptly takes out her hair tie.

“You must be kidding me.” Emily snorts.

“All’s fair.” Spencer says with a grin.

“What is one formula to find out pOH?” Emily switches over to Chemistry.

“The negative log of H+?” Spencer looks almost thoughtful.

“Nope, I was looking for pH minus 14.” Emily grins triumphantly.

“Name three examples of symbolism in Young Goodman Brown.” Spencer asks with a huff of frustration. She had been wanting to have Emily naked by then.

“Faith, Faith’s pink ribbons, the path.” Emily answers like it was nothing. Spencer begrudgingly pulls off her shirt, letting Em stare as much as she wanted to.

“How much money does it take to mint a penny?” Emily asks, doing her best to come up with the most obscure fact she can think of.

“It’s 1.8 cents.” Spencer chirps happily as Emily stops her teasing and kicks off her shoes and socks and pulls off her own t-shirt. She smiles when she notices Spencer noticing.

“Eyes up her, Spence.” she teases.

“Mmmhmm, right.” Spencer nods without actually hearing.

“Spencer, it’s your turn to ask me something.” Emily laughs, the game was seriously playing out in her own favor. She can’t help but to love the way that Spencer looks at her with that outright adoration in her eyes.

“Shakespeare had three children. Their names were…” Spencer prompts off the top of her head, unsure whether or not it’s even related to any of their classes.

“I.. don’t know.” Emily answers, wondering where that question could have come from. Spencer looks almost disappointed in her attempt to get them both naked.

“Susanna, Hamnet, and Judith.” Spencer tells her. “Your go.”

“The War of the Roses ended at…” Emily asks and Spencer lifts up quizzically, rearranging her legs underneath her body.

“The Battle of Hastings, obviously. What are you getting at?”

Emily grins mischievously, her heart pounding at her ribcage and stands up from the bed and slowly steps out of her jeans while Spencer’s gaze weighs heavily on her. Emily sits on her leg underneath her, and leans back on one arm, like she’s putting herself on display for her very much worked up girlfriend. She flashes her best innocent face to Spencer.

“Your turn, honey.”

“Three of the four kinds of plays that Shakespeare wrote.”

“Tragedy, Comedy, History.” Emily lists off with ease.

“Correct.” Spencer replies, shedding her own pants without the theatricality that Emily has had. She does however, register Emily shifting uncomfortably, and gnawing on her bottom lip.

“Henry VIII’s second wife.” 

“Anne Boleyn.” Spencer quits breathing or thinking as she shoves Emily’s history book off of the bed and reaches around the other girl to ‘assist’ in unclasping her bra, watching it fall to the floor. Instead of responding with her own question, the two girls couldn’t handle the closeness or the tension anymore and Spencer closes the remaining distance between them, pushing Emily back the rest of the way onto her back.

Emily gives in easily, accepting Spencer’s weight across her body with welcome and open arms. With no questions or hesitance she let Spencer’s tongue meet her own feeling her entire body light on fire at gentle touches at her most sensitive points. Spencer Hastings was a genius multitasker. Emily was feeling everything everywhere with no idea of how it was possible for Spencer to be doing all of those things at once when Emily’s mind was totally blank. She let her instincts guide her responses.

Spencer felt every thought flow through her mind like a tangled up ball of yarn that she would never unravel. Her body worked alone, as though it were separate from her.It already knew what to do, she had found out. On her own, Spencer just felt Emily, her responses to every little thing, how her body twitched with pressure applied to one spot, or denied to another. It was science and magic combined, a miracle at work.

Emily was golden in the sunlight coming in through the open window, a ray of light hitting her perfectly. It made a halo out of her black hair. Spencer had never seen anything so beautiful. She knew the names of almost every muscle and bone in the body and how they worked. Her fingertips traced over the curves of the zygomatic bone, down to the mandible.

The path took her down the carotid artery to the indent of the clavicle, a grin on her lips as she takes note of a darkening purple mark along the bone. She circles it with her finger twice before continuing the journey to the sternum down to the solar plexus. Spencer knows that if anyone could hear her thoughts that they would think she was crazy; naming her girlfriend’s bones to herself while Emily slept. In fact, it was probably crazy..

From there she was left with smooth skin covering abdominal muscles, taut at her touch. She was torn from thoughts of waking Emily up by the insistent vibrations of her nearby cell phone. She answered without checking the caller ID.

“Spencer Hastings.” she says by way of greeting.

“You should know there are some things that I can’t unsee. Next time you and Emily have a ‘study date’, pull the blinds.” Alison groans into the phone. Spencer quickly pulls a shirt over her head and quietly pads across the floor to her bedroom window that is directly across from Alison’s.

She can see the blonde girl from there. Ali waves a hello.

“Oh God, Alison. How much did you see?” she waves in return sheepishly.

“More than I ever wanted to know.” Alison says. “I never took you for a top, though.”

“Why didn’t you just close our curtain? That is almost… no, it is definitely creepy.”

“I’m not one to turn down a free show. Standing ovation for both of you, really, good job.”

“Go to hell, Alison DiLaurentis.” Spencer laughs, hangs up, and closes the curtains before sliding back in beside of Emily.

“Did she get the message?” Emily asks.

“I think so.” Spencer replies. “She liked it more than previously expected, though.”


	5. Remote

“Spencer, why does every movie night have to turn into a fight?” I groan, wanting to just watch something that didn’t require subtitles or a PhD or two.

“Because you always insist on picking the movie.” Spencer rolls her eyes and holds the remote just out of my reach. I am currently trying to climb across her to get it back.

“Only because you never pick something that we will both like. Just give it to me, Spence.” My leg is the only bit of me still touching the couch. My hand is on her shoulder steadying me while she holds the little black rectangle just out of my reach. I don’t even realize just how compromised my situation is until it happens.

Spencer shoves the remote underneath herself before her fingers find my rib-cage, playing the sensitive nerve endings there. I laugh and cuss, unsure of whether or not the sensation is pleasant.

“Stop it, Spence. I swear that I’ll pee.” I promise, lying through my teeth.

“Okay, do it then.” Spencer looks at me seriously. She’s straddling me at the waist, in the direct line of fire.

We’ve always been more comfortable with one another than anyone else in the universe. We get each other. We understand what the other has been through. I know when to make her take a break when she’s studying. She knows when to poke me to jog me out of a flashback or space out.

“I know that you won’t.” she challenges me. Spencer has always been the one to challenge me.

I reach up and grab the front of her blouse. Her eyes change colors it seems. I almost think that she can sense my intention. I drag her down to me and our lips meet. It’s an exploratory kiss, a testing of the waters. We know every inch of the other already, this almost the last of new territory.

It feels like the natural progression of things really. Not to overstep my bounds, but it feels almost meant to be. Our friendship always felt like a step towards something bigger. Maybe I always knew deep down that this would happen. Spencer shifts, her body held up by one forearm over mine.

Finally, she pulls away, eyes dilated, to breathe.

“Hi…” she says on a pant of an exhale.

“Hey…” I reply, feeling more eloquent then than ever before.

“I was thinking that we could finish the next season of Reign? I mean obviously I know who she ends up with, but it’ll be fun for me to see your reaction. You have the world’s most expressive face.” Spencer says as though that wasn’t the most intense kiss of my entire life.

“Good plan.” I agree, showing her the remote already in my hand.


	6. Bedhead

I remember distinctly that first night that we were together. I remember the sparks that flew in our first touches and the excitement that comes with knowing someone intimately for the first time. Emily and I were clumsy with our lips and tongues. It is so different from how we are now with one another, but just as wonderful. It was beautiful, that we learned with one another.

I remember Emily after, curling into me. She was sated and peaceful beside of me, her dark hair spread across the pillows still damp. Her lips are still kissed swollen, red streaks down her back, purple marks down her throat. I had adored the taste of my name on her lips. I had loved the look on her face as for the first time it was I who made her tilt her head back and tip over the edge.

I had never slept so well before in my life. When I had first awoke, I believed the night to be the most amazing dream. Then I turned and saw Emily on her pillow, hair sleep-tossed I feel a smile spread unbidden across my face. I doubt that I have ever seen her look quite so beautiful as just then. Her hair was everywhere… just a total mess. It was quite possibly the most adorable thing that I have ever witnessed in my life.

Still, I didn’t want to be here when she woke up. I couldn’t be. I didn’t have answers to any of the questions that Emily would have. I didn’t have a clue of what I would say to her. I didn’t even know what I was feeling.

I slide out of bed and pad quietly down the stairs. I put on a t-shirt and start breakfast. I get out an aspirin and put an ice pack in the freezer for Emily’s injuries. No one will ever say that Spencer Hastings doesn’t provide after-care. I do love her, but I can’t talk about this yet.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” I greet her with eggs, bacon, and a smile.

“Morning, Spence.” she replies.


	7. Christmas Cheer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Christmas Drabble

“I don’t sing.” Spencer said adamantly, a rather horrified expression on her face.

“Me either.” Emily agreed, her cheeks turning pink as well.

“We never get to celebrate together, though! It’s been years since we’ve done the holidays!” Aria protested as Hanna and Alison backed her up.

“I still don’t sing.” Spencer argued stubbornly.

“It’s just caroling, Spence. No one cares if you’re not any good.” Hanna spat back.

“I didn’t say that I _can’t_ sing. I said that I _don’t_.” she muttered.

“I can’t carry a tune in a bucket.” Emily added with a shrug.

“Just fake it then.” Allison suggested. “As far as I can remember… you’re pretty good at that.”

“And who exactly do you think that you’re insulting with that?” Spencer clapped back immediately, brown eyes glowing with anger. 

Emily blanched then and didn’t relax again until Spencer took her hand. They’d both been thinking Alison was finally getting over her animosity in regard to their newborn relationship.

Hanna was just in time to interrupt them. “It’s like Buddy the Elf said. ‘The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear’.” Her friends only barely managed to refrain from rolling their eyes.

Hanna’s favorite Christmas tradition was watching _Elf_ with as many of her friends and family she could drag over to her house. It was a good movie, but Hanna Marin’s love of it was borderline creepy. Emily and Spencer agreed it was almost more fun to watch Hanna watch the movie than it was to watch it themselves.

“We’ll go. Just don’t expect us to be at all happy about it.”

Aria and Hanna smiled happily while Alison smirked to herself; the same smirk that gave Spencer the deep urge to punch her right in the nose. She squashed it and squeezed Emily’s hand instead. Hers were always just a bit cold, especially in the winter, while Emily’s were perpetually warm… no matter the time of year.

“You’ll do fine.” Emily encouraged her and flushed when Spencer leaned into her as well.

“I know. It’s just not my idea of a good way to spend my time.” Spencer murmured back.

“Well, you’ll be there and I’ll be there, and to me at least, being wherever you are is my idea of a good time.” Emily’s eyes glittered and her smile was bright. Despite the semi-public forum, Spencer couldn’t keep herself from leaning in and intensely kissing those smiling lips. 

“I guess singing with you could be fun. You know, one of my most favorite things in the world is when you are completely relaxed and are singing at the top of your lungs and dancing like no one is watching you. When I’m working you don’t think I’m paying any attention… but I swear to God you haven’t ever been more beautiful. No matter how badly you sing.” Spencer said softly as Emily held her eyes. Spencer’s thumb stroked Emily’s jawline gently.

“God, can you two please quit being gross for long enough to join the group and the conversation?” Alison sassed them and Emily choked on a laugh.

“We’re on our way over to you, Ali.” Emily said with a gentle and understanding smile before kissing Spencer lightly again.

They still didn’t hear much of the conversation as they were much too wrapped up in one another to give a damn.

“Are you ever actually going to let them know you’re actually a very good singer?” Emily asked Spencer with a knowing smile.

“Nope. What they don’t know, can’t hurt Alison DiLaurentis. I’m just going to be a pain in the ass about it on your behalf...and because it’s pretty fun.” Spencer replied with a snicker.

Emily chuckled in an answer and nudged Spencer’s shoulder with a half smile as she returned her attention to their friends.


	8. I've Been Insulted

“Spencer, do you need help with that?” Emily asked as she watched her girlfriend struggle.

“Why would you think I need help?” Spencer replied sarcastically.

“No reason in particular.” Emily snorted without making any movies to get up or do anything about it.

“It’s obvious I can’t get this jar open, so can you help?” Spencer finally asked. Her biceps stood out uselessly as she worked at getting it open and failed.

“Sure thing, babe,” Emily said with a light chuckle. “There’s something of a trick to it my mom taught me. Your hands produce a lot of natural oils can make them slicker than they actually seem. So, if you use a cloth or something and put it on the stuck lid, and hold on to that instead… sometimes it will come right off.” Emily acted out each thing she said, as she said it; very plainly enjoying herself. She placed the lid in Spencer’s hand with a flourish.

“You’re really proud of yourself, aren’t you?” Spencer asked.

“I love knowing things you don’t know. It’s pretty much my favorite.” Emily said with a chuckle that made Spencer want to punch her. “I mean, you know more stuff than anyone else I know. Let me have this.”

“Well, if that was such a satisfying experience for you, why don’t you head up to get the Christmas decorations. I bet you can come up with something else I don’t know while you’re at it.” Spencer smirked and resisted a visceral urge to stick out her tongue at the other woman.

“I feel like I have been insulted. I know when I’ve been insulted… or at least I should know when I have been insulted.” Emily stuttered slightly, much to Spencer’s amusement. “I know there was an insult in there somewhere.”

Spencer leaned forward into Emily’s arms and kissed her sweetly.

“I am still the smart one, baby girl.”


	9. Out Tonight

“Emily, I keep trying to tell you all this isn’t necessary.” Spencer protested, despite having already put on one of her favorite little black dresses and a full face of makeup.

“No, it really is. This way I will be able to feel like I’m pulling a bit of my weight in this relationship.” Emily insists in response, standing in fitted black pants that showed off her long shapely legs and a deep red shirt that made everything else look absolutely sinful. The young woman was smiling adoringly at her with a vase of flowers in the foyer of Spencer’s barn.

“You pull your weight plenty, Em.” Spencer argued. “Just because you don’t have ridiculous amounts of money to drop on fancy expensive dates doesn’t make you any less of an amazing girlfriend.”

“You sound like a lawyer, babe.” Emily said as a grin spread across her face. The times when Spencer was sweet like this were few and far between, so she always made sure to treasure them. Time to appreciate her girlfriend's tender side and spoil Spencer a bit made saving up for a fancy date totally worth it. 

"That's funny, considering I'm in law school, babe." Spencer snorted.

“You look beautiful, Spence.” Emily said as she set the vase and bouquet on the coffee table and stepped up behind the other woman to finish zipping her dress. Spencer did not miss the look in Emily’s eyes suggesting she would rather be unzipping said dress.

“As do you, my dear.” Spencer reached up and back to caress her cheek, both pairs of brown eyes meeting in the mirror as Emily’s arms wrapped around the thin woman’s waist, her palms flattened out against Spencer’s abdomen, holding her close. “I just finished getting ready, Em. Don’t make me have to start over.”

The protest started off strong but wavered as Emily’s lips met her throat.

“Are you sure? You don’t sound confident at the moment.” Emily teased, nuzzling where Spencer’s throat met her shoulder.

“Hmm, I wonder why.” Spencer tilts her head to allow the other girl better access. “We are going to miss our reservation if you go on like this.”

Emily nips sharply and teasingly at Spencer’s ear before releasing her. “Shall we?” she asks, offering her hand as the epitome of a gentle-lady to Spencer.

“Let’s.” Spencer answers her with a wry half-grin as she gracefully placed her hand in Emily’s. Whenever they went out together she found herself incredibly charmed by Emily. Alone together, she seemed to come alive with wit and a slight something else that lit Spencer up deep down inside of her stomach.

Emily felt as though she were escorting some great lady from another era. Spencer made Emily feel like a clumsy oaf when she went into her classy lady mode. For the most part, she felt in awe of the other girl, as though she had some kind of inert luminescence Emily didn’t. Emily did her best to make up what felt like a vast difference by being her most chivalrous and charming self. To anyone else, they were a most attractive couple.

Emily held the car door open and shut it behind Spencer, resulting in a rare blush from the normally steadfastly together woman. She felt a surge of pride of being able to garner such a reaction. Normally, it was Spencer who elicited blushes from Emily. Turning the tables was always quite fun for the both of them. As they arrived at the restaurant, Spencer tucked her hand under Emily's arm and allowed herself to be escorted inside. Despite their age, the two young women drew a lot of stares and a host seated them quickly with wide eyes.

“Do you think these people think we are famous or something?” Emily asked Spencer, eyebrows raised in surprise at how generously they had been treated thus far.

“Actually, they probably recognized me. My mom and dad are VIP members here.” Spencer answered her sheepishly. She had been doing her best not to rain on Emily’s parade up until that point. The dark-haired girl let her hair fall over her face and groaned lowly enough only Spencer would hear her. “No, no, honey, it’s okay. I love this place and haven’t been in a long time. You know what things are like with my family lately.”

Emily did know. Ever since everything had come out and finished with A, Spencer’s parents had been worse than ever, at each other’s throats and almost never home. She knew her girlfriend would never admit it, but she knew Spencer had been feeling lonely as of late. Yet another reason she wanted to do something special together.

“I wanted this to be perfect for you, Spencer.” Emily said as she peeked out at her from between her fingers embarrassedly. Spencer felt her heart warm as well as how much Emily cared. She reached forward and pulled Emily’s hands across the table and into her own.

“It still can be, Em. Just sit back and relax. Don’t put all of this pressure on yourself. Everything will happen as it will.” Spencer said in her most comforting of voices. “Now, let’s figure out what we want to eat before the waitress comes back. If she keeps looking at you like you’re the appetizer, we are going to have to have words.”

Emily giggled, and tension visibly melted out of her shoulders. Spencer smiled, glad to have been able to help.

“Oh my word, Spencer. I don’t know what half of the words on this menu mean. What language is this even in?” Emily asked shock and confusing in her voice. For some reason, Spencer found it hilarious.

“Which part are you looking at? I can help - I speak a little French now.” she offered, leaning forward to look.

“Of course you do, there isn’t anything you can’t do.” Emily’s eyes sparkle almost teasingly, but there’s a heat to her tone that makes Spencer sit up a little straighter and pay attention.

“Eh, I had already taken all of the available dual enrollment Spanish classes.” Spencer awkwardly shrugged off the compliment.

She explained the menu to Emily and laughed as her girlfriend butchered the pronunciations. Spencer found herself enjoying herself more than she had in a long time. Things relaxed considerably from that point. She did her best to coach Emily in how to say the name of the dish she wanted to order, but couldn’t hold back her laughter when the time came. Emily took it like a champ with humor and grace. Spencer managed to hold back enough to shoot the waitress only one death glare.

Emily’s heart swelled as Spencer laughed. It was a sound she wasn’t often treated to and regularly missed. After all that had happened Emily felt as though the universe owed them more happiness and less angst. Spencer noticed the change in Emily’s expression. She shifted uncomfortably under its weight.

“Why are you watching me like that?” Spencer asked with the lift of an eyebrow.

“Because you were laughing and happy and beautiful. I don’t get to see it often and I want to commit the sight to memory.” Emily replied, sincerity pouring off of her.

Spencer sobered upon hearing the heartfelt words. Emily’s tender expression was more than her heart could take. She had to blink away tears, as she flushed with emotion.

“You know I love you, right?” Spencer asked with a glow to her eyes Emily didn’t recognize.

“I do know, and I love you just as much… if not more.” Emily promised. “ I want to be able to give you the best the world has to offer one day.”

“Emily, love, you already do. You give me the best _you_ have to give me every day and that is all I or anyone else could ever ask of you.” Spencer replied with another of those painfully gentle smiles, full of sincerity and adoration. “Are you ready to get out of here?”

“Yeah, let’s blow this popsicle stand.” Emily replied and Spencer couldn’t help but laugh as Emily picked up her card and receipt, leaving a sizable tip. Spencer followed, allowing Emily to lead her by the hand. She found herself totally enamored by the other girl. “What would you like to do next?”

Spencer thought for a moment. She couldn’t come up with anything suitable for the time of day or their dress. However, when she looked up and met Emily’s incredible dark eyes, she knew exactly what she wanted.

“How would you like to return to my place for a nightcap? My parents opened a very nice red recently during one of their late-night conversations about how much they hate one another.” Spencer said, only a touch of bitterness in her voice.

Emily’s eyebrows lifted in surprise at the implication. She turned the suggestion over in her mind and met Spencer’s eyes. Emily began her approach, then, cupping Spencer’s cheek in her hand as the other found purchase on her waist. Spencer’s eyes widened when she found herself pinned between the car door and all of Emily’s marvelous curves. Spencer could not imagine wanting to be anywhere else.

Her lips covered Spencer’s gently, almost hovering over them at first. Emily always allowed Spencer to come to her first. This was the most aggressive she had ever been. Spencer met her halfway and immediately melted into her, once again encouraging Emily to take the lead in an unspoken conversation. Emily leaned in and pressed against her, allowing Spencer’s hands to grip her curves as she smirked into the kiss.

“Let’s go now.” Spencer urged even though she was pulling Emily impossibly closer. She traced the tip of her index finger across Emily’s plump lower lip, as she bit down on her own.

“you are not making it easy.” Emily said softly, her lips trailing along Spencer’s temple and down to her jawline. She kissed and nipped, as Spencer’s arms began to loop around her neck.

“Okay, yeah, let’s head out before I end up doing something stupid.” Emily said when she felt all of the heat in her body head south. She backed away and took several deep breaths in an attempt to steady herself.

Emily opened the car door and Spencer slid in smoothing out her dress in an attempt to look slightly less rumpled. Emily straightened herself out as well before getting into the car. She leaned across the car to peck Spencer on the lips, her eyes burning. Emily’s jaw clenched several times as Spencer watched and she knew it was because of the effect they had on one another. 

Spencer clenched her legs together as they pulled into the Hastings’ driveway. Emily fumbled the keys as she hurried to get out of the car, evoking another hearty laugh from a charmed Spencer. Emily stuck her tongue out when Spencer’s face went red from the laughter. Spencer fell against the other woman’s side and backed her into the front door, kissing her with a deep fire that betrayed everything she had pent up on the drive. When they tumbled through the door, they were still laughing.

“Uhm, good evening, Spencer and Ms.Fields.” said Spencer’s mother from the kitchen island. Both girls immediately went quiet… then burst into more peals of laughter.

“OH, hi Mom.” Spencer said awkwardly as she caught her breath. Emily was half shocked Spencer didn’t jump away from her as though on fire. The Hastings family had not exactly been receptive to Spencer’s sexuality. Spencer had usually been wary of physical contact around them. Emily was very proud of her, but backed away anyway, peeling Spencer’s hand away from her ass.

“Good evening, Mrs.Hastings.” Emily added lamely. She shuffled awkwardly under the Hastings girls’ heavy looks. Spencer took her hand and passed her thumb over her knuckles comfortingly.

“I didn’t know where you were. I don’t mean to spoil your… uh, fun. Is there a particular something you needed from the main house, sweetheart?” Mrs.Hastings asked, her eyes kind of pained. Emily could tell she hated the tension between herself and her daughter.

“You can call it a date, Mom. That is what this is.” Spencer rolled her eyes. “I have come to raid the wine cabinet. I was going to offer my _girlfriend_ a nightcap before we retired for the night.”

Emily’s face flushed bright red.. Spencer’s voice was heavy with implication and maybe a little anger. Emily was thoroughly embarrassed, her heart in her throat. She couldn’t believe Spencer had basically just told her mother they had intended to nab alcohol and then go have sex. She had known things had been rough around the Hastings house, but not that it had been this bad.

“Uhm, maybe I should just… go?” Emily offered, her voice wavering.

“No, no. Take whatever you wanted and just go have your fun. I’m all fought out for the day. I trust you, Spencer, for the most part. Emily, I have known you for ages and you will always be welcome in my home, dating my daughter or not.” Mrs.Hastings said dismissively and Emily detected no deception in her tone. She wished there was something she could do to help, but she felt more like a part of the problem.

Spencer went and gathered the wine and saluted her mother on her way out of the door. Emily felt as though she were going to melt into the floor. She followed after the other woman; with another short, apologetic and half-desperate look at Spencer’s mother. Emily had to jog to catch up to where her girlfriend had stomped off.

“Babe, are you okay?” Emily asked as she entered the barn-house after Spencer. When she found the brunette, she had turned on some low sultry music and was pouring the wine into crystalline glasses. Emily took a seat on the couch and Spencer handed her the drink. 

“I’ll get over it.” Spencer shrugged, trying to pretend everything was fine. “Try your wine, it’s really quite good.”

Emily sniffed and took a small sip. Luckily, she and Spencer were the only two of their group who had any kind of appreciation for wine. Emily closed her eyes to taste and Spencer smiled as she watched. She preferred to admire Emily she wasn’t aware of Spencer’s appreciative gaze. Emily was so effortlessly sexy. .. Emily swallowed and looked back to a pink-cheeked Spencer, misinterpreting the look.

“ Spencer, please don’t pretend to be alright when you aren’t.” Emily’s voice was concerned and kind of hurt not to be trusted.

“I know I’m not wholly okay with everything going on right now. I know I will be, though. You, here now, is helping. Pretending everything is alright and being in this moment is best. We can have deep conversations about my emotional state later.” Spencer says though it was almost phrased as a request.

“We can do that. I just don’t want you to be holding in everything. You aren’t alone. Spencer, you’ve never got to be alone.” Emily just wanted to be sure the other girl knew that. “However, this wine is truly amazing. I do know one thing that tastes better.” she murmured.

Spencer choked on her wine in surprise at Emily’s statement.

“Emily! How forward!” Spencer chuckled after recovering some. “I think I like it.” Spencer said equally suggestively.

“I love how you assume I was talking about you, Spence.” Emily teases, cocking one eyebrow, her lips turning up into a grin. “Getting a bit full of yourself, aren’t you?”

“I am...definitely not about to be the one getting full of me.” Spencer murmurs, setting her glass down and moving to straddle Emily’s leg.

Emily had to laugh. “Awh, Spence. That was really bad, but I loved it.” she kissed Spencer, partially just to shut her up.

“ Sounded a lot more smooth in my head.” Spencer muttered, reaching back to let her hair down. That shut Emily up. She tangled her fingers in Spencer’s hair and pulled Spencer in even more closely. Her breasts were even with Emily’s throat as she allowed Spencer’s tongue past her lips. As soon as they parted for air, Emily worked to get Spencer’s dress zipper down and off her shoulders. Emily was torn as to what to touch first.

“Settle, Em. We have all of the time in the world.” Spencer murmured as she caught a glance of the internal battle. Emily took the advice and set her lips on the first thing she saw; Spencer’s collarbone. She nibbled, kissed and sucked, only just able to notice Spencer’s head tilting back her chest heaving.

When she tired (some) of that, Spencer used her own fist full of hair and pulled Emily’s mouth up to meet her own. She was so fierce and full of fire, Emily felt as though she might actually melt underneath her. Emily ran her hands up and down those long, long legs draped on either side of her own. 

Spencer looked up when suddenly those hands tightened and the strong leg muscles underneath her clenched as Emily stood, taking Spencer with her. As she rebalanced a giggling Spencer with one arm, she pulled the dress the rest of the way off and tossed it onto the couch.

“God, Emily. I think I really like this side of you.” Spencer says, unable to tear her eyes away from the hot look in Emily’s. She only growls in response, laying the deliciously exposed Spencer back on the couch. 

Every nerve in Emily’s body pulsed and vibrated. All of the heat in her body had shot down between her legs but she wanted to touch Spencer more than she wanted to be touched. She started with Spencer’s abdomen and worked her way up, biting and nipping, leaving deep pink marks in her wake. When the other girl tugged, Emily sat up some and tossed her shirt away. Spencer’s inhale was audible. She pushed to sit up as well and kissed all along Emily’s chest, blunt nails digging into the small of her back.

Emily lost her balance and fell on top of Spencer again, trying to keep all eight limbs on the couch. She caught herself with her face mere centimeters above Spencer’s.

“Should we move this shindig to the bedroom?” Emily asked. “This is not going anywhere here.”

“Agreed,” says Spencer. “But lose those on your way, would you?”

Emily jumped and flailed to get the incredibly tight jeans off. Spencer helpfully pulled them down herself, before jogging lightly into the bedroom, a teasing look leading Emily after her. Emily felt as though she spent a lot of time following Spencer around, or giving chase after her. Tiring, but always worth the effort. 

Spencer stood waiting at the end of the bed and wrapped her arms around Emily’s neck once more. She kissed her slowly with so much promise Emily was breathless and panting afterward. Spencer’s leg wrapped around Emily’s waist as they pitched backward. Her wetness was sticky and warm against Emily’s thigh and Spencer whined at the contact. Emily caught her lower lip between her teeth as she pressed back.

Spencer rocked, her fingers digging into the base of Emily’s neck with dull nails. Emily, however, removed her leg and backed away slightly, eliciting a whine from Spencer, who looked up as though to protest. Emily made it up to her by pulling the thoroughly soaked panties down Spencer’s long legs. Lovingly, and almost worshipfully, Emily kissed her way back up Spencer’s legs one at a time, before looking up to make eye contact for silent consent. 

Spencer nods fervently and sunk her fingers into the sheets viciously. Her thighs trembled under Emily’s strong hands. She had been so worked up for so long, Spencer knew she would not last long. She cursed long and loudly in every language she knew. Emily chuckled against her, sending vibrations through her entire body.

Everything in her clenched then, unable to hold off any longer. Emily reached for Spencer’s hand, gripping firmly. She continued to lap, even as she refused to break her eye contact. Emily took everything Spencer gave her and worked her through her climax until she stilled. Emily wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, moving up to Spencer’s side.

“You okay, baby?” Emily asked.

“Hm? Yeah, all good.” Spencer replied before rolling to kiss her soft and languidly. “ I believe I made you a promise earlier.”

“Yes.” Emily laughed. “Yes, you did.”


End file.
